LESSONS FROM 2018: AN ENGINEERING PERSPECTIVE (CONTINUED)
LESSON NUMBER FIVE: COMMUNICATION GAPS ARE HARMFUL
All of us can relate with a specific time in our lives and probably in the year 2018, when we had a sort of lag or gap in communication with a loved one. This might have been highly influenced by yourself, the other party or several independent factors but these are beside the point.
It is key for us to recognize the essence of communication in our relationships. Since we are deliberate about our network (relationships; sphere of influence), there are things that we must keep doing to ensure the reliability of the network for us to have good real-time responses.
Let me quickly chip this in: You do not have to create an offence before someone keeps away from you. Hence, we have to learn to stop blaming ourselves when things go south in our relationships (largely due to communication gaps), identify the real problem and fix it – if we want to preserve that link.
Now, there are many things that could cause a communication gap. In Engineering, there is something called INERTIA. Inertia is a form of resistance that must be overcome for a device or process to run smoothly. In our networks, many things (especially dependent factors and variables) can cause inertia.
For example, periods when one experiences such as another failed plan, a strained relationship or death of a loved one, can suddenly push an individual into a new environment. In this period, the person might be numb, depressed, afraid, angry, confused and just different. The person needs you now than before, the person needs you to understand the phase, join faith and help to walk through the dark alley.
Sometimes the person needs you to give a little space but still be there to run to, at any point in time. All the while, even if you are not speaking often, you are still communicating because both parties know that the link is unbroken and they can still share resources when things are looking up.
However, we often make costly assumptions which are usually soldered to presumptions that have little to do with the person in question, out of our own ego, insensitivity and haste. This frame of mind might generate decisions which would harm the link and it may not be recoverable.
If we are too quick to compare these unique individuals with previous experiences, we might be too wrong too fast and too slow to realize. Let us not tolerate communication gaps, they can be very harmful (and hurtful) to all involved. Even if communication is not constant or frequent, do not break the link and if you see the need to, please do so with the other person’s response in mind. Please EMPATHIZE.
LESSON NUMBER SIX: PLAN YOUR STORAGE
In Engineering, all smart devices come with some form of storage often referred to as memory. There are several types of memory (ROM, RAM, EPROM, EEPROM, etc) which have different applications. Some memory types are temporary while others are of a permanent nature. These memories serve as banks where data and information are stored for modification and use in the future whenever the request is made.
We are in the age where there is information bombardment from every corner. Many systems generate and transmit information at fragments of lightyear speed that it is impossible to process them all, due to the overload. To prevent being overstuffed, overindulged or overwhelmed, PLAN OUR STORAGE. What do I mean? Do read on.
If we agree that we are on a living-learning-growing journey, then we must be deliberate about what we keep in and what we dish and throw out – I am not talking about only garbage here. Whenever we approach any potential info-overload material e.g a book, magazine, articles, social media or actual events, we must be armed with a sieve.
This sieve can be compared to a filter in engineering whose function is to eliminate (or reduce) the noise (unwanted information) while preserving the important signal which would eventually be an output. It is obvious that we only have two hands so we should not expect to carry a physical sieve about. This sieve is in our minds and it is a string of questions, questions we need to always ask.
What does this promise to teach me?
How much time should I devote to this?
How exactly can I apply this knowledge?
Is this fake news? What is the source?
Does this edify me in any significant way?
Do these promote what I value
Is this information useful to my sphere of influence?
Questions like these would assist greatly in what we keep and what we discard from our storage banks in our minds. Also, we should be prudent and purposeful in the way we store information. I mean, some data are for temporary storage, some for permanent storage and others for no storage at all.
For the temporary storage, we consider things that have the potential to be useful in the near future and things we are yet to verify as credible, reliable and valuable. The permanent storage holds information which strengthen our core beliefs and prove to be vital for our journey in life. Then, those things which should be stored at all are the irrelevant, the unprofitable, the moral degrading and those that I would call “A perfect waste of precious time.”
P. S: Don’t be so prudent that you appear overbearing.
LESSON NUMBER SEVEN: INVEST IN GIGRA BYTES
When we want to purchase a new storage device or accessory, we often think “How large is the storage? How many gig is it? How much for so-and-so gigabytes? This should also be our mindset when we approach life. We should be deliberate, prudent and organized.
What I refer to as “Investing in GIGRA BYTES” are the chunks of Giving-Gratitude that we value and exhibit. A wise man once said that “A man with a grateful heart is the richest in the world.” While that may be his perspective, we need to appreciate the importance of the Giving-Gratitude on God’s green earth.
In the year 2018, I have learned so much on this topic and how so many principles of life bank on it. It is important for us to know and note, if we intend to tow this road that human beings respond and relate to things from different perspectives. This would serve as a backdrop for every giving gesture and every act of gratitude we express.
Regardless of age and exposure, some people in our sphere of influence have a highly cultural mindset. It then behoves on us, to learn about their culture and relate to them on that pedestal. Even if you share the same culture with the person, you might esteem your cultural beliefs to different levels. If we relate ignorant of this, hurt would play out in the not-so-distant future.
Also, some people are very religious in the way they live and they expect you to respect their religious stand. If you truly love a person and the cause you share, you need to understand and respect the boundaries that they set. Your love expressions must always show that you are mindful of their beliefs even if you do not share them. It should also be vivid that you choose not to discriminate against them, even if that is popular. Please do not hesitate to tell them about your own beliefs when you see their interest.
Then, there are those who are quite logical or philosophical in their attitude to life. Just like you would express giving-gratitude to other nodes in your network, these beautiful folks are not an exception. But be warned, if you want to keep many of these folks in your sphere, you have to ready for series of debates and intellectual discussions; with them, these should be mutual. You must be willing to give knowledge, insight and new perspective on subject matters. These and resources that promote them are highly valued by this group of people.
In conclusion, I have learned that virtues like love, patience, diligence and discipline should crown all our judgements if we want to live a beautiful and successful life. Despite its vicissitudes, 2018 has been a terrific year with flourishing relationships.
See you in 2019!
~ Flourish Davidine