We all know no man is an island, and in a world with seven billion people, you’re bound to meet a few you like. Yes, we’re all different, but I’m fairly certain at one point or the other you’ve had or currently have at least three of these types of friends:
1. The secretive ballers
This set of friends is awesome, but they always behave like they will die if they tell you how they make money. One minute you’re discussing how the pandemic made everywhere dry; the next, they’ve bought iPhone 13. Ahhh! I thought we were in this together, bro.
2. The one that always has the gist
Please take note, this particular friend can either be male or female, and they always have their ear to the ground. There’s hardly anyone you know they don’t have some juicy dirt on. The moment you start catching feelings, you run to them and ask, “How far that babe now, she dey alright abi?” And patiently wait for them to download your crush’s Wikipedia page.
3. The overachievers
You love these guys, but sometimes the oppression can be a little too much. While you’re trying to balance work and sleep, these guys have full-time jobs, have one or two side hustles, sit on the executive board of one popular association, hold positions in the church, and have a book coming out next month. Ah, ahn! How can one person do so many things at once?
4. The judgmental ones
Everyone fucks up sometimes; life happens. You make out with that guy you know is bad for you, or a stressful week makes it hard to resist having a blunt. Either way, these guys are the very last to know. They don’t always voice out what they think, but you can tell from their face and body language you’re not a good servant of the Lord.
5. The ride or die
There’s SpongeBob and Patrick, Chandler and Joey, then you and your bestie(s). You guys are always together, either making moves or causing trouble. Their family may treat you like an extra child because they think you’re a saint, but your friend knows the perfect conditions that bring out the devil within you. Out of everyone, they’re hands down the best in the bunch.