It’s barely been a week since the Central Bank of Nigeria placed a ban on banks transacting in cryptocurrencies, and as always, everyone has something to say. While they’re plenty takes flying around, I’ve found that it’s easy to place most of them in one of these six categories. Which one are you?
Those that are swearing for CBN
As if this country wasn’t hard enough before, now they’ve come to pour more sand inside your garri. Your bank even sent you a mail this morning because they suspect you’ve been trading in crypto. Now, they’re telling you to come and be going with your money. Chai! Who did you offend?
2. The ones that are in support of the motion
As far as you’re concerned, they should’ve implemented this policy long ago. Everyone knows Bitcoin and Ethereum are the devil’s money. It’s only yahoo boys and mobs that use it for organized crime. They’ll sit with their laptops and say that they’re trading. Trading what exactly? Something you can’t see or touch? If the thing crashes now, all of them will start crying.
3. The people that are just observing
What’s your own? You’re only here for the show since it doesn’t affect you in any way. Can you even list up to five cryptocurrencies? Wait, that question is too hard for you. Do you even know what crypto is? Abegii. Where and when did all these people even learn about this thing? You’re better of sticking with what you already know. It pays the bills anyway.
4. The ones that never had the money for it
Sure, the policy sucks, and if you had anything in your blockchain wallet, you’d probably be crying too. But that’s the koko. You don’t have the money to invest in crypto. One bitcoin is almost $45,000, for God’s sake. The person you owe money still came to drag you this afternoon o! The truth is, you’re too poor to complain about how the policy affects you.
5. The experts that aren’t phased
So the government thinks their policy will affect anything. Lmao! They don’t even know. When peer to peer dey? Mtchew. The people making these policies don’t know how these things work. If they think they can force you into herding cattle, they’re jokers. Sure, things are a little inconvenient now, but no worries. You and your boys go run am.
6. The ones adding two and two together
So CBN thinks you don’t know what they’re trying to do? It’s clear for anyone to see that they want to cripple the young people from making it. They’re afraid of how quickly we raised money during the protests. Is it not 2023 that’s around the corner? It’ll be a lot harder to raise money to support our candidate. What’s next? A travel ban? You better be packing your load, because this country is moving mad.