Beneath the Facade

Beneath the Facade

We might put up a facade that everything is perfect but none of us are. When we see that weakness in somebody else, we understand or give ourselves a little bit of leeway.

Joel 

When I first met D, she was the most beautiful girl I had ever seen. I was a girl but i was in love with her kind of beauty. It was a beauty that shone from the depth of her soul, her very core. She emanated goodness and kindness, the kind that called you and drew you to her. She wasn’t overtly beautiful nor was she what we would call a ‘heart stopper’, yet there was something about her. I envied her and her cheerfulness. Her ability to love freely and unconditionally, no questions asked and no expectations. I wanted to love like that, carefreely. I looked only at the surface, I saw the facade she carefully packaged and sold to us. I never understood the depth of her pain or her cry for help, hidden beneath carefree smiles and limitless joy. Here was a girl, who was yet to get past the emotional scar she had been subjected to. A girl constantly berated by a father who cared not for her, a girl subject to the emotional abuse of a man meant to love and protect her, a girl who had never fully recovered.

Then I met P. To the world she was smart and brilliant, she had everything at her tips. She was the pride of mothers and the envy of Fathers. Everyone wanted a child like her, she was loved by all and sundry. Yet beneath the facade she presented, was a girl, uncomfortable in her own skin. A girl suffering from esteem issues because she felt she could never be loved for her size. A girl struggling so much to love herself and her body, to see herself how People see her, yet failing to achieve that kind of self love. Like every other limited person, I saw only the facade she presented. Perfect student, perfect grades, perfect family. I never saw the little girl still struggling to be accepted.

G is to every one a go-getter. He was that guy that knew what he wanted and went after it. He had the looks and the smarts to pull off anything you can think about. Girls wanted to date him and guys wanted to be friends with him. He was every lady’s version of a dream man. The go-getter. The ‘It’ man. Yet beneath the front he presented was a guy in desperate need of attention to feel loved. He had spent a major part of his life being berated for being less than perfect, that he wanted someone to love him in his imperfection. To love him, flaws and all. He desperately tried to hide the little child beneath the facade waiting for crumbs of love from parents unwilling to show love for less than perfection. Yet to everyone that saw him, he was perfection personified.

These stories details the life of people around us. The fact is, no one is perfect. We can only strive to attain perfection. Beneath the facade presented,  are persons in different levels of hurt trying so hard to hold it all together.  Pain and pleasure is a universal language spoken by everyone but real strength is determined by your ability to get past the pain and move on with your life. It is in the ability to stay true to your path irrespective of past hurt. Your ability to see the future even when all is gloom and doom. It is your ability to shine in your darkness.

Like the stories above, everyone has a past they are struggling with. Everyone has a facade they selectively show the world. We have to learn to see beneath. We have to stop making snap judgements based on qualities we think people around exemplify. We have to stop judging people by their exteriors and look deeper to see what exactly lies beneath that surface. While it is good to emulate another, it becomes the height of irresponsibility to punish yourself simply because you think someone is better than you, to berate yourself because your friend seems to do better than you. To think less of yourself because someone makes you question your efficiency. Rather you should learn to accept everyone and see beneath the facade they present. 


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