Diary of an excited Lagosian

Diary of an excited Lagosian

“In Lagos, we are all ‘mad men’ clothed in class. Everyone from the well-dressed business man to the woman buying and selling on the street, is a time bomb waiting for an opportunity to redefine the concept of madness. Even the traffic has conspired to test the boundaries of your sanity”.

For me, Lagos has been a constant hub of excitement and entertainment. Hardly does a day pass by without something exciting happening. Personally, my times in transit either to or from work has become my own version of a reality show. A typical day enroute starts off with me taking a seat by the window and from then on, it all becomes a television show. I have to constantly restrain myself from eating popcorn and sipping a drink while laughing hilariously, leaving everyone wondering “what exactly is wrong with her?”

I thought I had seen it all, but Lagos constantly reminds me that I am yet to scratch the surface of what it offers in terms of madness. In fact, the expression “many are mad but few are roaming” comes to life in Lagos buses. That is where you will see a well-dressed passenger trading insults with the driver from the point of departure till destination or someone promising the driver a beat down once the bus stops. That was how someone positioned herself in front of a moving vehicle o, simply because the driver gave her a dirty and torn note. Apparently, her determination to get a better Naira note is stronger than her self-preservation skills. Whether she got it or not, I know not.

As for me, I just watch the entire show from my side of the bus while chewing an imaginary bowl of popcorn and laughing out loud. After all, I am not paying #1500 for it.

And as for the drivers and conductors, they are gods in their own mind with absolutely no care in the world. The bus is their kingdom and they hold court to decide your fate – a thin line between your query and your commendation. Every day hosts a competition between the nonchalant drivers and the overly concerned passengers for the ultimate crown of madness and so far, the passengers have proven time and time again that they are a class of their own.

I am MAD too!!! If not, how do you explain leaving your office at an unholy hour and falling asleep in the bus when you have stayed barely a month in Lagos??

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