How are you? Before you go thinking, why is she asking me that, just pause and really think about how you are feeling at this exact moment.
This month was a really tough one for me. I felt disconnected from everything and everyone and just bombarded by a whole lot of emotions that I didn’t exactly know how to deal with. Have you ever felt that way? How did you deal with it? For me I don’t think I actually dealt with it, more like ignored it and sought solace in work and movies. The movies temporarily put smiles on my face while work distracted me from having to think too much.
August started out on a sad note, with news that one of my close friends had lost her mom and then, more sad news from different quarters. I have always shied away from condolence visitations because I feel so awkward and at loss with words. I keep thinking, what exactly do I say to make this person feel better. I can’t say I understand because I don’t. While for the person, life has come to a standstill, mine will continue even after I have extended my condolences.
And for the longest period, I was confused. Do I call or do I not and if I do, what exactly will I say to make her feel better. I rumbled with this for days and eventually reached out. On the call, the only thing we could do was cry together and at that point I realized something powerful, “when our friends hurt, we tend to disconnect because we don’t want to say or do the wrong things, but at the end of the day, the best thing we can do is to give them a gift of our presence”.
I am in a better place right now and even at that, I’m sure there are other days that will feel crazy. There are days when without warning life life throws a punch at you and you feel like you are going under, the best way to live is to take each day as it comes. Appreciate each day, celebrate your wins, mourn your losses and just live beautifully each day.
So the next time your friend hurts, I hope it doesn’t take you as long as it took me to reach out and assure them that you are and will be there for them regardless. It’s enough to just reach out and say, no matter what happens, I am here for you. That truly is a gift.