How did we get here? I want to know

How did we get here? I want to know

It’s mother’s day today and I can’t help but go down the memory lane. We’ve come a long way, mirror. Now, I wonder, who I would have been if you didn’t birth me? It’s a crazy thought path, but I wander still. One thing I would have loved, one thing I really look forward to, is your story, your full story without editing and filtering, you can hit me with it now. I’ve grown mama, I can withstand the whole truth. I want to know why you are the way you are, I want to know about your childhood, who you were before you had us. I want to know it all, please. 

 

I need to draw out the pattern, get the full picture, make sense of all of these. I want to know about the sleepless nights so I know what to do when I can’t seem to fall asleep at night after I had worked my ass off during the day. I know about the pills and I think I may need them too. I want to be better, I want to do better, that’s all you’ve always wanted for us. I don’t know why I am writing this, but I am really tired of the secrets I keep. It’s eating me up. The low lows, the high highs, I am tired. I am really tired of it. So, I’m taking steps, getting help and I’m talking about it. 

 

Today is Mother’s day, but I only have one question for you mama. How did we get here? I want to know.


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