‘Who do you prefer between your mom and dad’? This question has always been asked all my life either at school, by my friends, and even church. And I don’t know why but my answer has always been the cliche one: My mom.
Growing up, I was so used to my mom, not for a particular reason asides the fact my dad was not always around. He was busy hustling for the family and being the head of the house. The few times he was around, I and my siblings always dreaded it, because we didn’t know how to act around him. My dad was very strict or so I thought. He was either shouting at us for not doing his biding or he was mostly saying no to our requests. It became so bad that anytime he was around, you literally never see anyone in the living room and we were mostly like. Mind you, he is very supportive and provides for our basic needs, the only thing missing then was emotional connection with us his children.
Imagine my surprise when my dad turned 50 then everything suddenly changed and it took us a lot of time to adjust because this happened out of the blues. My dad used to be the typical African dad who only calls when there is a vital information to be passed like ; ” Hello itsemhe, I just sent you money.”
And so it always happened like clockwork. My dad started calling to ask about school and well being like 2 times in a week, and if we don’t call him he would complain 😂😂. This sometimes always left me wondering why we had to. He also started telling us stories and engaging us in conversations which resulted in us feeling at ease around him.
This growing friendship with my dad started at a very skeptical pace because I was asking all the “why” questions in my head. But then he really didn’t give us any choice than to embrace and grow with it. It has been slow but surely getting better.
This growing friendship has taught me that preference of a parent over the other is not always as simple as it comes off because our judgement could be biased as our preference could have stemmed from availability of the preferred parent which in a typical African home is the mother hence the cliche answer. And as you can notice, my stanship is slowly changing 😂😂.I genuinely hope everyone reading this would have their desired relationship with both parents or parent. I’m not gonna lie, it’s fulfilling and very tension free.
Thank you for reading❤️❤️❤️