The reason men are so obsessed with success, or rather need to be obsessed with it, is because nobody gives a fuck about men. Including the majority of men.
Men have no inherent value. Women and children are valued for simply existing. Men have to earn their value. This is what in turn makes the transition into manhood difficult. The reality check of knowing that you must prove your value or you are nothing.
Women preserve their value,men have to create theirs. This is why the average woman is more valuable than the average man so to speak.
This is why our gender differences cannot focus only on the winners. This translates politically as demanding special privileges for one side, because a minority of the other dominates the majority positions of power.