First Of All, Introduction.

In recent times, you humans – as you always do – have dubbed me one too many monikers that, I’m afraid, has relegated the ‘real’ me to the background. What with such humiliating names as Oga Coro, Lady Rona (do you even know my gender?), and even much worse Covik-1,9-birus, as though I were a chemical compound. I ain’t one of those whatever-its-name-is-called microbe that you try to force a different identity on, I am uniquely different and so is my name. At birth, I was named Saxton Covy (are you confused? That’s SARS-CoV-2) but as I kept growing, I realized that the learned among you prefer to call me Coronavirus because that’s what my family members are collectively called and identified by. Whatever! My name is Saxton Covy, and I am brutal like that.
For the records, I am ubiquitous and adventurous. I affect people in different ways, because I understand how no two individuals can be genetically the same. Trust me when I say I have a great interpersonal skill, and can get the most introverted nerd dripping. I am that crazy but I definitely can be cheerful. I can be jovial. I can be jocular. I can be jaunty. And that’s only the J’s. Don’t just ask me to be empathic. Empathy has nothing to do with me.

On Decoronization.
Decoronization is a word that you attribute to my death and defeat, or worse still, a series of events that can be done to exorcise me for from my life. Simply put, decoronization is the action of changing from coro-nial status (positive) to independent status (negative). I’m still wondering why you guys think I won’t make a nice company if I befriend your immune cells. I mean. I’m just trying to be cool here. Anything wrong with that? Anyway, as I have told you earlier, I certainly can be jaunty. So I might just let you in on the up-to-dateness provided by my friends from W.H.O on how you can decoronize and emancipate yourself from me. You should note, however, that my giving this information freely does and can not absolve you from getting an August visit from me in the nearest future. I love checking on old friends a great deal.

So the facts sheet state that for you to successfully boycott me, you must embrace the act and art of wearing nose masks and/or face shields, sanitizing your hands after washing them under a running tap, sneezing into your elbows instead of your hands, staying two meters away from other people if you have to step out, and – by far the most important – get used to enjoying the company of yourself, by yourself, and for yourself within the confines of your room or house, as it were. Really? Just so I won’t befriend you?

You thought I’d really tell you how to decoronize yourself? Never.

There’s a meeting I need to attend sef. Punctuality is the police of time.

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